That sinking feeling of dread. The whispering companion to the dark monster that is my constant friend. Always willing to hold you tight….too tight, so tight it’s hard to breathe!!! Ready and waiting to tell you how everything is going to fall apart and burst into flames with you right at the centre of that fireball. PANIC!
The dark monster (depression) is rather polite compared to it’s whispering serpent companion. It hides in dark places, sneaks into any crack or crevice of doubt you have and waits. Without warning you’re struggling to breathe as the world swims around you with images of disaster. Once you’ve experienced a panic attack you can just about recognise what’s happening. Unfortunately you know there’s no escape until it has run it’s course. Your first panic attack can be the stuff of nightmares. Your body betraying you in ways you never thought possible.
Why the depressing start to a blog post? I’m going to be getting into a metal cylinder that’s strapped to two tiny wings, hurtling at hundreds of miles an hour carrying explosive liquid powering engines that tear themselves to shreds if they eat a bird or two!
This is how majestic and serene flying is. Yes. Most of the time it is.
This is how I see flying. A screaming fireball of destruction!
If you’re lucky during a disaster everyone lands fairly safely with a few bumps and bruises. Lucky? Disaster? Should those words be in the same sentence?
Unfortunately there’s no man made medication to hand. Instead I’ll be using the extreme tactic of running to make me too knackered to panic. I’ve found that a panic attack whilst thoroughly knackered from running as hard and as fast as I possibly can has about as much oomph as a soft pillow being thrown at me! I know I can’t do this every day up to the day I fly but booking a marathon a day or so before I fly should do the trick. The Enigma Fireworks marathon is going to see me put every ounce of running energy I have into each lap. Run/walking the majority of it after lap two. I wonder if I’ll get a personal best?
Then, IF I survive the trip home I get to run another more gentle local marathon run by Long Distance Walkers Association (LDWA). Sundon Saunter – muddy tracks and trails with checkpoints filled with biscuits, cakes and TEA!!! I’m thankful this is AFTER I fly rather than before as this marathon requires navigation and map reading. Not advisable for those on the verge of panic! And no, this is not a holiday trip flight! If I was going on holiday I would DRIVE there!!
Don’t panic! Hahahahaha!! If only!