Do I Need a Personal Trainer? 26th August 2014

It’s been quiet since Lakeland50. Too quiet. I’ve hit low again but after reading through my own blog I had a plan. Keep to the plan….. That’s all it was. Could I do that? Seriously!! It’s not like I’m dieting – which I’m completely and utterly inept at doing by the way!!
The plan after Lakeland50 was – Attempt the marathons booked. Get out for a good run at least twice a week. Keep my mojo occupied with writing up course notes for Leighton Ultra and lastly, read all the running blogs for inspiration. The first falter was two evenings out in the weekend that should have been for Salisbury 54321. I was looking forward to the marathon but I was also really looking forward to having a couple nights out dressed up and enjoying a dance with close friends. Four hours on the dance floor took its toll and there was no way I was fit to drive to Salisbury in the morning to then run a marathon. I took the lazy option and rested. Then for some reason I had a week of self-loathing because I wimped out of running a marathon!! G’ah!! No one else was on my case about ditching a run but me. Why book something when I’m not going to do it. Grrrrr Get off my case! I know already!!
A couple days later I go for a longish run and the world is back to being okay again. I get back to route planning and holiday planning and boarding kennels and packing and food packing and hiking kit and waterproofs and and and…… Too much planning!! This spiralled into holiday plus running stress. The holiday plan was…… pets at the boarding kennels, kids and husband plus everything else (kitchen sink packing) in the car for a one night stay at Weston Super Mare to then run the Cheddar Gorge Marathon on the Sunday then drive home, repack and get ready for the holiday in Coniston starting Monday. I was on edge before we got to the hotel at Weston Super Mare. The stress was building but it wasn’t about the run it was about leaving the family to wander around until I had finished wombling around the countryside!! Getting everyone back home in time for bed time. What were they going to do when all the shops were closed? Oh the stress!! THEN!! Last minute car parking change on the day of the marathon had me in the worst mood ever, adrenaline fuelled panic as it was getting close to registration time. My phone had no signal and the signs for the car park just vanished when we reached Cheddar. Only AFTER the event did my phone get enough signal to download the email that said “parking is now in Cheddar”. After pulling over a few times to ask for directions I found that we could park in Cheddar and registration was at the top of the gorge. Errrrr, right! More adrenaline fuelled panic to get to the top of the gorge as quickly as possible on foot to find out the start had been delayed!!!! ARGH!!! Panic + event + adrenalin = Helen having a mental moment!! I had been a grizzly monster in the car to the kids and my lovely husband (soooo sorry) and to top everything I had used up every ounce of umph on panic. GREAT!! I had 30 minutes to chill out and look at the wonderful views Cheddar had to offer and by the time the marathon started I was in completely the wrong mood to push myself to finish. I was out for a bimble and was enjoying the views. Any drive/effort/push was non-existent. I thoroughly enjoyed myself for 4 hours but I only got to do the half marathon. I was over the time limit for the halfway point. I wasn’t even gutted, I was relieved. I could get everyone home and ready for the holiday in Coniston sooner. Note to self – It’s lovely to have the family around but only do it on local events! That way, they can take themselves home if they get bored. Sigh!
The holiday in Coniston was perfect. Lovely weather. Beautifully scenic walks. Superb B&B. The only downside was the drive there and the drive back.
So, am I back on plan? No. No I’m not. I’m feeling a little lost and very slow. My determination is the only thing dragging my lazy arse out of the door to run but my heart/soul is not in the mood for this running malarkey. I feel like I need a kick to get me going again. Is that what personal trainers are like? Someone else to take over thinking, telling me how and what to do and just give a list of things to do. Sounds great but I know what I’m like. Unless I’m responsible for someone else I’ll just duck out of appointments or some other family responsibility is far more important than it really is. Maybe I should be the personal trainer and I’ll get fit by getting others fit. Half of me jumps for joy at this idea and the other half wants to crawl under the duvet and groan in protest at this far to energetic idea haha!!
I know the slump will slowly go away by itself but it’s frustrating! I just need to be a bit more tolerant with myself. A little bit kinder and lazy days are okay. I just have to make sure I get my lazy arse off the sofa every now and again so I can enjoy the fabulous scenery when I’m out running.

Keep on running.

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